i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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