I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
