windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
