HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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