She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
