kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
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i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
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You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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