I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
