id be glad to
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
