Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
