Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
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