I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
