and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
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I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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