Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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