we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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