I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
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When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
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A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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