So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize