My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
