There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
