My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
