i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
