There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
