I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
