I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
