No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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