I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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