just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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