Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
