"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
