There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Swine flu. Run for my life!
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
