Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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