dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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