thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
