I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
