I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
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You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
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Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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