i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
