i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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