I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
