We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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