Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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