walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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