I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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