i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
