Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
