When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
