2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
