it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
