A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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