i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
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I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
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I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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