do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
