can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
