is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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