Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
