areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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