It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
well, you know. whores of a feather.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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