taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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