I cockslap morals
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
mondays should just be called national damage control day
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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