I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
