I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
