honey bunches of taint.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
