Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
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The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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