she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
