Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
