I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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